……………………………..Since it is graduation time, I though I would post this picture of my two best friends from high school, and through out my life…..When this picture at my house was taken by Jac,we were going to our 40th High School reunion!…..Mary Claudia Donnelly Chandler was my high school sweetheart. We met when we were in 7th grade and became friends right away…She was a fantastic artist, and I though she was just great. She was very beautiful…very tall, thin with long hair, and huge blue eyes…..She was very bohemian in spirit, and loved all that went with that….folk music and all. We went every where together, and every Sat. you could find us in the Village in NYC. I took Mary to both our junior and senior proms. I have a picture some where. I’ll have to search for it. While all of the other girls wore typical long prom dresses, Mary made a silver Mylar mini dress [she had great long legs]. Needless to say she stood out like a beacon, and I loved it. For our senior prom we triple dated with Bobby [in the photo above] and Phyllis, and another couple, Andrea and Eric. We went into the city and heard Edie Adams at the Royal Box. She made a big fuss over us as we were definitely the youngest people in the room. After that we went to a place called “Cheetah” a fabulous new disco. It was 1966! Mary went on to NYU and Bobby went to Wisconsin, and I went to Parsons…….We always remained close. Mary and I eventually broke up as a couple, but never as friends. When I designed at AK she would always come up to buy clothes, and later she became one of my best Linea customers! which she is wearing in the picture. She met a wonderful man named Ralph Chandler of the Chandler’s of California….think of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. They had two beautiful daughters. Unfortunately, Ralph died in his 50s from kidney disease leaving Mary a very young widow. She never remarried. Mary and I continued our friendship over the years and we would text and speak on the phone regularly…..I was always an ear she could talk to. Jac would joke and say that I should have married Mary……Whenever she would come to NYC we would always meet in the village or Soho, and spend the day together….Jac knew and liked Mary, and was fine with us spending time together…….She loved to visit the art galleries and go shopping. She and Jac became good friends, and Mary thought Jac was the perfect girl for me….She was right…………….Bobby Tirman was my BFF. We were brothers. We too met at Elmont Memorial High School in the 7th grade. At 13 I went to my very first Broadway show with Bobby, “How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying” with Robert Morse. I have a very faded picture of the three of us at the stage door. Going to Broadway Saturday matinee shows became a thing we loved to do. We always ate at a restaurant called Toffenetti’s on Broadway in the center of Times Square….It was a 1000 seat restaurant and was a destination for 30 years…..It is long gone…….Through the years we did everything together. We traveled to Europe and went to Carnival in Rio when we were 20 [I have some great pictures of us]. When he moved back to NY after graduating from Wisconsin we rented our first apartment in NYC together. Many of our friends were the same, and we went out to the clubs together…..We were naughty boys!!!! but had great times….We rented summer houses together, and eventually he joined Jac and I in renting houses too…..Eventually, these two wild and crazy guys grew up, and our lives went in separate directions. No matter what we were up to or where we were we always spoke, and he would tell me of his new loves and what was going on in his life……….This past year I lost both of them………….Mary died from complications from diabetes…..She had it since she was a child….I remember being at her house after school. She was getting me something to drink from the refrigerator, and there were all of these vials lined up on the door. I asked her what they were and she explained that they were hers and what they were for. She never ever made a big deal of it, and no one would have ever known she had diabetes……….Bobby passed away from kidney failure…He was sick for a long time and at the end was in a care facility. I wanted to visit him so badly, but because of Covid I wasn’t allowed. It haunts me that my best friend died alone……..Other than Jac these are the people I loved most in my life, and it is so hard to loose them. Sometimes I find myself thinking, “Oh, I have to give Mary a call”, or “I wonder what Bobby is up to?” and then I remember. There is a very large hole in my heart where my friends belong. I know they are all together, Jac, Mary and Bobby….and someday I will be with them again.
Hi Louis,
I’m pleased to have stumbled upon this post! How great to hear about my cousin Bobby’s life and happiness from his great friend, Louis. I believe you were at Rose and Sam’s place (Grandma and Grandpa’s apartment) once when I was but a small lad, but I remember a bit of it. I’m happy to have a glimpse into Bobby’s life and the good times you two enjoyed. .
All the best!
Danny Tirman
Dear Danny….it is so good to hear from you! I met Bobby when I was 13 and we became best friends immediately. This friendship lasted until his dying day. We went through a lot together…..good times and bad, but we always loved each other like brothers. I remember him mentioning you. Your father was Joe’s younger brother….correct? I still speak with Jacqui, and she gives me all the news about Dennis……Take care
Dear Louis:
Thank you for sharing this wonderful glimpse of your life. You are fortunate to have been blessed with such loving friends! Have to let you know, I have been pulling out my Linea bins and bringing forth my Vintage Linea as I call it, and doing my best to wear and shop in my closet. I am still picking up items as they become available. My DH just shakes his head and can’t figure out why I can never let anything Linea go. LOL! The past year and a half has been such a challenge for us all. I pray daily for everyone I know and of course you are included in my prayers. I am in Texas and will head out to NC next month and you can be sure my closets out there are Linea filled! Your designs have gotten me through many years of community volunteer work after I retired and discovered your amazing clothes! I always feel well dressed and confident no matter the occasion. Many, many thanks for all you have done for us over the years. God bless you and keep you always.
Louis,
I am so sorry for your losses! Thank you for sharing your personal stories with us! I understand, as I too have lost some very dear people in recent years. I think of them so often and miss them greatly. I try to keep a positive attitude and to be thankful to have been blessed such wonderful and dear people came into my life! I try to remember the valuable lessons I learned from them. While many of us may not write comments each day, I am sure there are a great many ladies who come to your blog everyday as I do, to keep up with you and to see your posts.
In recent months, I have purchased a great deal of Linea, knowing it was the end. Your retrospectives has made me realize I should have been buying more all along. To make space for the new, I’ve been going through all my closets and removing other things (not linea) I know I will no longer use. I thought I had done well with that as a general rule but was surprised how much there was to eliminate. Today, I have loaded my car up with boxes of donations for an absolutely fantastic (no kill) humane society thrift shop. I rescued a darling, homeless young kitty last year who came to my back yard. After trying so hard to help him assimilate into the household for six months, he was still struggling with living with my elderly cat. They took him in and found him a wonderful home where he could be the one and only kitty. It broke my heart to turn him over but I realized they deserved my trust. So, now they will be getting my donations of goods and cash for their wonderful organization even though they are not close by or convenient.
Marie, your post made so much sense to me. Louis I read this blog every day, the first thing I do. When covid hit I moved, went through closet, donated much but my Linea items went into ‘temporary recycle’ as I thought they might be too dressy for my covid life. I have recently been purchasing items knowing they will be the last – thank you to whoever has been posting the latest “limited quantity” pricing. Just as you said Marie, “I should have been buying more Linea all along”!!!!! Thank you Louis for your blog, for reminding us about “THE CLASSICS” and how important they are, even in a casual world. I retrieved all of my Linea from donate and have been adding items ever since. I am realizing they are more important than ever. So sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. Covid has been a time of loss in a number of areas.
I will find out….I’m not sure if it’s closed.
Dear Louis-
I used to write often, and still read your blog daily. It’s one of the very few things that lift my spirits. I don’t know if you remember. but I had told you my husband was fighting the same battle as your beloved Jac. Well, he passed away May 15th. It’s so hard to get through the days, but this is an overwhelming loss for me, even though I knew it was coming. My fervent hope is that he is pain free and at peace now.
I don’t have the support system you have and I’m emotionally and physically worn out. But I look back at your journey and know it was a hard mountain to climb, I hope I will get there also.
I continued to wear your clothing during my husband’s brave battle and If I ever get to the stage where I am out and about, I’ll be wearing Linea.
Dear Judi, I am so so sorry to hear about your husbands passing. I know when Jac realized the end of her life was near, because no miracle pill was coming, she told me “she wanted to go home to her mother”. It broke my heart then, and it breaks my heart now over three years later. I told her not to worry and that I would make sure that happened, and I did. I can tell you when Jac passed all of the stress and and the effects of her cancer disappeared from her face like a miracle, and she looked as she always had . …like an Angel……..I knew at that moment she was in her mother’s loving arms. It doesn’t make it any easier for us who are left behind with the memories we have, and to know there will be no new one’s…..so I talk to Jac every day, I say good night to her every night, and write in my journal to her all the time just to keep her near me. I have pictures of her all over. Judi, maybe some of these things may help you…..I am here if you ever need to talk to someone.
Thank you so much for responding quickly. Unfortunately my husband was completely ravaged by the disease, he became extremely frail, very gaunt and didn’t resemble his old self. A very different situation with Jac. However his mind was very sharp til the end. He never complained, he was a warrior. The final picture is burnt into my brain, so I look at older pictures all the time, I framed one that I particularly like. Yes, I do speak to him, I write a journal, think of him continuously. The nights are hard, I seem to be jolted awake and realize he’s gone….doesn’t make for a restful night. I also listen to voice mails he sent me and re-read texts….I hope it doesn’t sound too creepy.
I was focusing on myself and didn’t extend my sincerest condolences regarding your very close friends.
Wishing you all the best, and I will stay in touch
Judi
Judi….it doesn’t sound creepy at all. I totally understand….and yes, nights are the hardest.
Louis, thank you for sharing your beautiful story of friendship. I pray for you for continued strength. I too lost a very close friend and first cousin to COVID suddenly last year. Your story is a strong reminder to all of us to cherish our friends and family. Please know that we are here for you and praying for you continually.
Carolyn, I am comforted to know that Mary passed last Feb. before the lock down so she was with her care giver, Tia and her daughter Celeste when she passed. Her birthday was two weeks away. I always kidded her that she was the older woman in my life. She had fallen and broke her hip. That with her diabetes, and a multitude of other serious conditions she had it was just too much for her. Tia, asked Mary if there was anyone she wanted to talk with and Mary answered her….”Louis”…..Tia called me and without explaining too much let me know Mary was not doing well, and she wanted to speak to me. I really didn’t realize that death was close. I spoke with Mary and told her how much I loved her and needed for her to get better so I could call her and we could have our long chats. I promised I would come to California when she got out of the hospital. She told me how much she loved me, and what a wonderful friend I had been to her all of these years. We said good bye…………The next day Tia called me to tell me Mary passed peacefully during the night. Mary had already had two or three heart attacks due to the diabetes so her heart just couldn’t make it through one more time. Tia also told me that when she asked Mary if there was anyone she wanted to speak to….the only person she wanted her to call was me……I miss her terribly, and for the rest of my life.
Thank you Louis for sharing these pieces of your life. It is wonderful to have such good lifetime friends. This year has been very difficult for all of us. In the beginning of COVID, my husband was hospitalized and there were no visits allowed. Very hard. We are lucky to be near University of Pennsylvania Hospital. They pulled him through several times. He went to High School no far from you at Carey HS. By the way, I alway wear Linea to all of his appointments and visits when they were allowed. It made him proud to have a wife that cared enough to dress for him and his medical teams. Also Linea got me through the Pandemic. My neighbors wanted to know where I was going. Nowhere! It just made me feel good. There is a lot to be said for that.
Ann….I’m glad to hear your husband is doing better…Carey HS….I know it well. Though I wasn’t into sports [I played soccer but wasn’t very good], both of my older brothers played everything and were great at it. I know Carey was one of the schools they played against……small world. I am so happy to hear you dress up for your husband! I am so tired of seeing women looking less than “wonderful”, and that’s putting it nicely.
I frequently wonder, particularly after a year such as this has been, how we bear such losses in our lives. I agree that faith that we’ll see and be with our beloveds again is a comfort and can give us the strength to face the unfaceable void that their absence creates, but I also believe in the power of keeping their, and our, memories of them alive through writing about our times with them, about who they were, and what they have meant to us. Writing has great powers of both healing and helping to keep those whom we have loved alive for both ourselves and for others to know about. I sincerely hope that this blog is giving you a sense of both relief and release for your grief, as well as providing a chance to look back at what has been an extraordinary life that you are kind enough to share with us, and that I hope you will continue to do, both for yourself and for those of us who have come to care for you so much. Peace.
Dear April….thank you for your words. I would have never imagined years ago what a comfort this blog has become to me. Now, with my retirement, the isolation of Covid, and losing so many who were so dear to me, my world is getting smaller and smaller. It is so much harder as you grow older to get out into the world for many reasons. Through my web site I have so many friends all over the country, and it is always wonderful to hear from all of you.
Ditto, you have a lot of love out there Louis so let not your heart be troibled.
Oh Louis, I understand the hole in your heart. I lost my very best friend suddenly several years ago. We were speaking on the phone, which we did several times a day. A few minutes after we hung up she had a massive heart attack & died. She was only 52. We were besties since 3rd grade.
I have also lost several close family members to Covid.All the losses have left a giant hole in my heart. I try to fill it with loving memories of the laughter & tears we all all shared. I’m also making new memories with loved ones who are still here. Life is too short. We can’t waste anymore time.
I know you have an excellent support system. That’s very important. Continue to lean on them & your many friends here. We have your back!