……………….My mother had wonderful girlfriends. She told me how they always went away on “girl vacations” in the Catskills and Adirondacks. Many of them were BFF. I new some of them, and called some of them Aunt. They were all working girls in NYC during the 20s and 30s. They were all very modern independent women….the new breed, and very different from their parents. They saw each other all the time. They had many boyfriends!…..They tried to see each other when they could, but once they were married and had children it became more and more difficult. My parents moved to Long Island in 1951 when it was just starting to be developed and there were still many farms. Her girlfriends stayed in Brooklyn…..From my mother’s stories I really understood why she and all of her girlfriends waited to get married…..all in their late 20s. They all worked, and I think it was hard for them to give up their independence knowing things would change drastically. Everything would be different, and their holidays together would end…..Once one got married they all got married and the “girl’s club” as it was broke up…..I know my mother missed her friends, and never again had girlfriends like those of her youth. She was to have a very different life now with a husband and the children to come. When we sat and she told me her stories I could see the happiness in her face of reliving those good times… Aunt Nardi was my mother’s very best friend, and she is in many of the pictures. They are picking flowers at the upper left. Aunt Nardi is behind my mother on the country road second pic in from the upper right. She’s the third bathing beauty from the left, and that’s Mom at the extreme left. My mom is third in from the right in the line up at the lower right and Aunt Nardi is in front of her. Aunt Sadie was their best friend. Sadie is in the top pic second in from the right. She’s up front in the plaid top. She’s also laying in the grass with Mom and Aunt Nardi wedged in between. The three amigos…In the line up at the lower right she is the last one at the extreme right….That’s Aunt Sadie and Mom playing croquet……The three couples, Mom and Dad, Nardi and Armond and Sadie and my Uncle Bubby were always together, until my parents moved to Long Island…They were all very close and continued to go on vacations together….I remember going to the Catskills with all of them and their children…For my parent’s 50th wedding Anniversary my brother Mauro and I gave them a trip to Hawaii. Aunt Nardi and Uncle Armond, who were my parents Matron of Honor and Best Man at their wedding, went with them. Nardi and Armond had been married the month before and my mother was her Maid of Honor….The trip to Hawaii was the last time my Aunt Nardi spent time with Mom. My Aunt Nardi died of cancer a month later after their return from the trip, but she was determined to go on this trip and spend time with my Mom…..They were like sisters, even closer than sisters….BFF. It was very hard for my mother to loose her childhood friend….She spoke of those times with such glee, and I know she truly enjoyed reliving them…….Those good times may have been long gone……..but she had her pictures.
There’s a song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Guy Clark, called, appropriately, “Old Friends” and the chorus goes: “Old friends, they shine like diamonds/ Old friends, you can always call/ Old friends, Lord you can’t buy ’em/ You know it’s old friends after all”. I have one who I seldom see, but she and I have been friends since we were 3 years old in Sunday School together, thru all the years of our local schooling, then housemates for a couple of years of college until our paths diverged and jobs and distance parted us, though we always have kept in touch. When our youngest son died 21/2 yrs ago in the middle of winter, just before the memorial service, I was looking around the very crowded vestibule of the funeral home, and there she was, having driven from Lansing, MI to Buffalo, thru bad weather, w/o my knowledge. My husband’s best friend from college (and his best man at our wedding 41 yrs ago) did the same, but he flew from Hawaii. There were others who did the same, and these are people you cherish to the END.
Dear April. what a wonderful story of friendship. It’s too bad it took such a tragedy to bring all of you together, but they came when you needed them most. The fact that neither told you and your husband they were coming makes it even more meaningful. They just had to be there to support you both. I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. My brother lost his 21 year old son, John, 30 years ago. He would have been 51 on the 26th of this June. I was with my brother this Father’s Day. We were sitting together, and he told me, which he has told me many times…..not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of John.
What your brother tells you is the absolute truth, Louis. Ben is the first thing I am thinking of when I wake, and the last thing in my thoughts at night. It changes you in a fundamental way, there is no doubt about it. It’s as if there is a change in one’s molecular structure, and I know you experienced something like that when Jac passed. “They” say that time heals all wounds. “They” are full of it. You just learn to live with it because you must for the others in your life who love you. Peace.
April, what you say is so true. Those that say those stupid words, “time heals everything” I must believe that they have not had a great loss in their lives. I just came back from a very long walk, and I talked to Jac every step of the way. We used to take the same walk together. She is always in my thoughts.
Life-long friends are just the greatest treasure! I have found that that nothing really changes over the years despite marriage, children, and complete changes in lifestyle. And very often great distances. If we were close then, we are still close now, despite many being at quite a distance from each other. One of my sorority sisters who now lives in Portland is coming for a visit in October. I can’t wait to see her!
Louis,
Thanks for sharing. I so enjoy your trips down memory lane. I have heard similar stories of girl trips from my mom.I also have many albums full of pictures. From the way you speak of your parents I can tell that you we’re influenced by their sense of style.My mom too was quite into fashion. With limited funds she always managed to look classy & elegant.It goes to show you don’t have to be rich to dress well.