………………..On December 12th, 2017, at 3:42 pm…..Jac left this Earth…….and she left me forever……It is hard to believe that it is 7 years now that she is gone….it sometimes seems like yesterday, and other times it seems like an eternity…..It is absolutely impossible for me to list ALL the things I miss about Jac…..Her loving, and generous personality….her eyes “as blue as the sky” as her mom always said….her soft skin…her beautiful long legs…her pouty lips….her silky blond hair……her delicious cooking…..but one of the things I do miss more and more….is the sound of her voice….As the years go by her “voice” gets dimmer and dimmer…..I am grateful that there are a few videos that exist where Jac is speaking, and I can watch them and hear her…but I miss her saying with her soft sweet voice….”Lou”…….I have received many questions from people, women and men, on how I cope with losing my life’s partner….the love of my life….Coping truly is different for everyone…..When Jac was very sick, near the end, she told me I had to have a “routine”, and “if I didn’t have one….to make one up”…..She said it would save me….to have something to do each day….She told me it saved her when her beloved mom passed…..She was more worried about me being alone, and drifting into oblivion than her dying!….She was right! I started a daily routine that I could always distract myself with………The first year is the worst…sometimes unbearable…..because…..it’s the first time for everything you are doing alone that you have always done together…..without your love…….The first birthday….the first anniversary….the first Easter, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving……and the first CHRISTMAS……the first spring, summer, fall and winter…..the first snowfall that Jac always loved…….You miss the everyday things you always did with your best friend and partner in life….your love…. I miss having breakfast together….having dinner by candle light…baking Christmas cookies together….going out for a ride to look at the colorful leaves falling….something Jac loved to do on windy days…all the little things……you miss holding hands…..you miss the everyday hugs……..you miss the kisses…..Maybe I’ve said too much…Jac used to say I did, but talking about Jac is very cathartic for me….Somehow it makes me feel closer to her……My thoughts of Jac aren’t constantly painful……I try not to think of those last few months, and days when her health got worse and worse…It was the absolute most difficult time of my life…..it is just too painful to think of those days….However…..The pain of losing her isn’t as raw as it was that first year…..A layer of skin has grown over that wound…..but don’t scratch it too deeply, because it all comes roaring back….I try to think of all the happy good times, and the pictures I surround myself with help a great deal to remind me of all the wonderful vacations and the wonderful days we shared together……..My solace is that Jac is where she told me she wanted to be……in her Mom’s loving arms……I imagine them together, watching over me, and I smile with tears in my eyes……Every night before I go to sleep, as I look at her pictures at my bedside…..I say out loud….”good night my sweetheart….I love you over the moon and beyond the stars…….one day closer”.